how's it hangin? Hopefully not like a part of me, heh heh. Right now I'm in
Cyprus and think I'll stay here for a while cause I found free internet, my
costs are really low, I can drive over to the Greek side to get a stamp in my
passport, so things are quite good for me now. It should enable me to cruise the
bottom margin with the low costs so that I can slowly pay back all my debts.
Entered my annual fast recently, but this time I combined it with a parasite
killing program. Seemed real effective, except it caused major
diarrhea
and my guts ended up hanging out something fierce. Been in pain for more than a
week and reminded me of Jason at
karoake when he said he could not sit down. Have basically become an expert
in the subject it seems, as I've been struggling with it for years, if Jason
wants so tips. Didn't want to write to his work address with this subject. I
think one problem is if he eats too much meat. Anyway, hope yer all having a
good one. Hope I'll be able to endure the summer heat here. Think I won't be
able to make it back to Cz until next year, considering my continuing financial
circumstances. adio
We are doing ok. I just had my 30th birthday party and it was huge, bands
and djs and everything. I am working at the tiki bar now days and trying to
make things work a little better. After a year aniversary we finaly have one
month of at least knowing how much money we made ( not much,to even do
anything,by the way :-0 ) well sounds like you are having a great
adventure,too bad you wont be here for summer ... you know summer times in
Prague can be fun :-)
I know and I was looking forward to coming, but I'm still too poor, boohoo.
Sorry i missed your bday party. If I didn't follow my
caravan truck dream, I think I would have opened a bar myself, but more for
a hobby. I'd probably work there with my internet and laptop, and watch to make
sure the staff are doing their jobs. Otherwise everyone steals, and I wouldn't
expect to make a profit. But I'd enjoy it, as it's one of my life's dreams. But
glad you guys are surviving and having fun. My internet is free but very slow
and frustrating. Spending all my time looking for customers, but I plan to set
up a blog on myspace to help push up my
web rankings on
some other sites. Well, look forward to talking about bums and asses with Jason,
heh heh. Take careo
i'll mak sure Jason reads your ass story and you guys can share tips....
anyway get myspace since you have free internet a lot of people are on there.
www.myspace.com/takytiki you can register put your
stuff on there and people can keep in touch w you. Have a good summer . Would
be cool if we could visit you or something but just cant promise anything with
my planing skills beeing crap. kiss Stepa
diky za zajimavy email. Mam ty same pocity jako i ty. Kdyz jsem byla
naposledy v Praze, uplne jsem byla v soku z toho life-style. Myslim, ze lidi
tam musej umrit rychleji.
Well, I heard several times that, among EU countries,
Czech Republic has one of the lowest life expectancy. And it makes sense if
you consider their lifestyle, as you pointed out. But healthy eating and healthy
lifestyle is starting to get more popular, as you can notice on the cooking
shows, and I think this wave will eventually take the planet. Could have easily
started in your neck of the woods. After that, I hope a following wave would be
environmental consideration, and a consumerism wave where people will start to
think about the consequences of each thing that they buy. It's important to
think about one's own body, but also of our planet, as there is getting too many
of us and we are destroying it.
Vsichni, absolutne vsichni, kouri cigara, berou sileny mnozstvi
drog,nemluve o alkoholu. Vsimla jsem si, ze vetsina mych pratel uz ma vrasky
kolem oci a na cele, sednou jim vlasy a taky jim ty vlasy ubyvaj. Ja jeste
vypadam docela mlade, rekla bych, ze na less than 25y/o. Vubec uz bys me Kajo
nepoznal.
People still guess me at my early thirties and I always chuckle when they
raise their eyebrows when I tell them my real age. I think the last fast did
some good and next time I'm going to try some before and after pictures, because
it seemed to make my face shinier and cleaner. Wrinkles are still a problem, but
I guess considering that I use no creams or oil (once in a while I get dry and
desperate and smear one some olive oil), I think I'm doing pretty good. By not
being able to recognise you, you mean by the way you look or your new lifestyle?
I'm actually growing to enjoy taking care of my body. Concentrating on my shit
and adjusting my food the next day to produce the perfect crap. A funny but
enjoyable passtime.
Myslim, jak jsem zmenila life-style. Nechlastam (jen nekdy a to trochu, ale
uz neexistuje, abych se vozrala, jak jsem kdysy byla schopna), vubec, ale
VUBEC nekourim cigarety a nesnasim lidi, co je kouri kolem me (jsem velmi
sensitive to its smell) a drogy uz mi taky nic nerikaji. Mozna jednou za mesic
nebo dva se trosku zhulim. Snazim se chodit do posilovny. Je to tezky, protoze
me stale boli ta moje pata (uz to boli pres rok!). Jim ONLY ORGANIC food a
varim kazdy den doma. Mnam mnam mnam. Snazim se jist jednou az dvakrat denne
salat. Mam routine na jidlo. Nemam doma zadny JUNK food nebo sugars nebo
sracky k jidlu. Snidane je vetsinou smoothie. A to jen berries s vodou, hodne
ORGANIC flax seed a koupila jsem si SUPERFOOD (je to supplement ze zelenych
rostlin). K obedu mam salad anebo neco dobreho, snazim se skoro nejist red
meat a taky pork. Hodne ORGANIC chicken a taky fish (vsechno WILD cought,
velmi malo farm raised). Pouzivam jen trosku butter nebo olive oil, ale ted se
snazim pouzivat jen extra virgin coconut oil (organic, samozrejme).
I'm starting to get into better oils. Heard flax or rapeseed oil is good, and
my impression is that extra virgin olive oil is not harmful but good for you, so
I'm rather liberal with that. Tomorrow I'll cook up super lentils to last a
couple of days. Otherwise it's a lot of salad and not so much meat. Lately I've
been convinced about the benefits of supplementary vitamins, for my heart. Helps
preven aging too. My parents look great. I think I sent you the heart email. But
I definitely like beers from time to time. I'm just trying to make it less
occasional and heal my body in between. I guess I told you about Radek, Tereza's
guy, who screwed up his splean and now is on a strict diet without alcohol for
the rest of his life? That would suck. I definitely like my beer still, but
definitely consuming a lot less.
Kajo, vubec byl nepoznal, jaky je ze me health freak. Taky chci zit co
nejvic to pujde. Mela jsem posledni dva roky deprese ze zivota, nechci abych
nikdy umrela. Ja miluju zivot a taky ho nechci promarnit tak jak jsi psal.
Deti do college, platit hypoteku, new cars and shit... ja chci cestovat, muj
pritel take. Takze zijeme zdrave, nemame moc penez, mame se radi a jsme zdravy.
If you're into super healthy, one thing you might consider is the car exhaust
in cities. There are a lot of dangerous chemicals in that, and apparently your
body can consume air like food, taking the nitrogen, carbon, hydrogen and oxygen
and processing it like food. Of course youngsters wanna party it up in the city,
or one needs it for work, but that was one of the things that bothered me about
Prague, and I always noticed a big difference when I went camping on the
weekend, how wonderfully deep I slept in the forest, and felt my lungs clean
out. That is one of the things I appreciate about my travels, although there
isn't much forest down here and I felt the air was cleaner when I was camping in
Cesky Raj. Trees are life filters. They breath, clean the air, and then
breath out delicious fresh oxygen. I miss that about camping. You can become a
general health freak
and stay away from drugs, but with every breath you inhale in a city, you can be
doing a lot of damage.
To je nejdulezitejsi. Taky jsme si koupili filter do koupelny. Opravdu se
snazime zit zdrave. Dneska je 3. den mojeho cleansu. Kazdy rano mam sileny
cramps v brisku. Ve srani se toho moc nezmenilo. Hovna mi skoro vubec nesmrdi
a jsou krasne fluffy, protoze se snazim jist hodne salads. Uvidim, kdy se to
zacne procistovat. Taky jsem desne vzrusena, jak to dopadne.
So how did it go? The stomach cramps doesn't sound good. I never had such
pains. Maybe you should be drinking more water or something. And when you do
clean yourself like this, it's important to be drinking lots of quality clean
water, not just tap water.
Skola? Major zatim nemam stanoveny, takze prozatim general education
classes. Myslim, ze chci vystudovat international business, protoze v tom
vidim budoucnost. Chapu evropskou mentalitu a ucim se americkou, taky nevim,
kde budu v budoucnosti zit, Afrika zacina byt vyspelejsi, hodne se investuje
do vzdelani a internetu v Africe, takze myslim, ze international business je
pro me nejlepsi volba.
Sounds good, but sounds like you're going into the long haul. Sometimes its
better just to take night classes of business courses or something, rather than
invest into four years, full time and money, of general education, followed by
an MBA, which is almost minimum it seems. Soon enough you're looking at 8 years
of your life, where in 8 years as an entrepreneur, perhaps with some night
classes or self education on the internet, you could have accomplished a lot
more. Look at Bill Gates, a genius who dropped out of school because he realised
it was a waste of time. 8 years is a big chunk of your life, and then you don't
even have experience. You get out and start looking for work, and you might as
well be starting all over again. Not to mention all the money you might still
owe. So I'm not a big fan of this sort of general education. I think a lot of
people take this route because they don't know what they want to do and figure
it will solve that problem for them. Like they will have the knowledge tools
once they get out, and someone will magically offer them a good job. But
experience goes a long way, and one can learn what they need while they work.
Look at all the stuff I learned about computers. I'm practically a guru on the
subject, now learning about programming scripts, system administration, setting
up a server, database... The list goes on.
And I enjoyed learning all that, on my own, for free, sucking it all off the
internet, or asking experts. You can find practically anything on the internet,
and some universities, like MIT, are putting their curriculum for free on the
internet. The way of the future. Does a doctor in a little village in
Africa need a diploma from MIT to save people's lives? I think information
should be free and this could be the new evolution we will be entering on a
global level. Anyway, it's cool you're doing the school thing, but I think it's
better to do it when you actually have a concrete plan. Otherwise it turns out
to be a major investment in your life, both time and money wise, and you can
come out of it with a mountain of debt, and only a piece of paper which an
employee might look at less than 5 years of actual experience. Think about it.
You could be 40 years old, and 8 years is almost one quarter of your life. If
you consider that, up to 20, basically you were at your mommy's living for free
and your ass was practically wiped for you, now you are talking about HALF your
life. When by 40 one can already be president and have a lifetime of
accomplishment behind them if they were diligent and hard working enough. I hope
my next ten years will see much more accomplishment. I'm not very happy what I
accomplished in Prague. A lot of drinking, but I look back with fond memories.
Now though I'd like to get more serious, and hope that by 50 I'll be
significantly more accomplished. I guess I'm thinking in ten year plans. Would
be nice if I could accomplish things in five year plans.
uf, dlouhy email Kajo. Mej se hezky a zase si brzy napiseme.
Yah, I tend to write a lot. I think it might even annoy people, but I'm here
in this
caravan truck by myself, so these letters are a vent for me and like
conversation, where everyone else has people around them and lots of
conversation, so these letters can seem tedious to them. And hence I've been
trying to make them shorter! STOP
We found a place around the corner from our old place, Mr. Kenax Man, and
either or both of you are welcome to stay there pretty much as needed. There's
a bed in a rather large enough kitchen, we'll be sleeping in the living room.
Nice big flat, though some might call it small. Big enough for me, probably
even above average, nothing compared to Strasnice, though. Did ya'll know, by
the way, that Zuzana moved to Florida? She has to support her husband. Ah,
yes, turnabout is indeed fair play.
How's she supporting him? Financially, or just by being there and a good
supportive wife? Not a bad place to live I guess. Think I'd prefer its weather
over Prague any day.
I'm just another homelessak for the next couple of days until we officially
move in. Charlie, FYI, come out my old door, turn left, turn right first
street, it's right there on Slovinska. I guess we weren't desperate enough to
have to call Lucka. What's up with her?
Don't know. We exchanged a few emails once she left, but either she decided
she's not into writing, or her boyfriend was erasing my emails. Our relationship
actually soured a bit the last few weeks. She was starting to piss me off, but
as her departure was approaching, I figured it wouldn't make sense to start
opening a can of worms when there wouldn't be enough time to resolve everything.
But I blew up and couldn't control myself, and there certainly wasn't time to
resolve anything. She seems potentially as selfish as many other people, a
characteristic which is increasingly disgusting me. I really do not feel the
need to be around people like I used to. Sometimes I wonder how much less she
would have hung around me back then if I wasn't rolling in the cash and paying
for much of her drinks, and all her weed. But I'll hold off on the speculation
and let things chrystalise if we ever spend time together again. The honeymoon
was great, and I was happy to have someone new to spend time with rather than
hashing over the same conversation with the same crowd. Was always nice hangin
around you, but many of the other people in
Prague seemed to be dabbling too much into gossip for my liking. Anyway,
thanks for the football. I've found free internet here at the university, and
seems I am settling into a good gig here, and seriously questioning whether I'll
be able to make it to Prague this year. My back for tires are starting to look
like condoms, and I wouldn't dare to make the long drive without replacing them.
So with gas and ferry costs, we're probably looking at around 50k to make it to
Czech
Republic and back. And if I do make it all the way up there, I'd want to go
to Poland as well, so that would make it more expensive. I need to save up money
and pay back debts, so increasingly it looks like I'll stay posted here until
I'm back on my feet again. I'm also wondering if you received my last email. You
seem to get all my emails, but when I need help, seems that from certain of my
friends I get an amazing silent treatment. Like as if I would somehow forget
about the email or request I wrote. I consider this equivalent to someone
casually hanging up the phone on you when they got better things to do. Or
sitting in a pub, and in mid sentence, they turn to someone else and start
another conversation, cutting you off, as if you aren't even there. Many people
do it, like erasing an email requires the press of a little finger and the least
amount of effort. Anyway, I said it would not be a big deal and that I'd
understand if you can't, but what I do not appreciate is just being ignored.
Like someone hoping I'd kind of forget I asked. Anyway, I've decided not too
long ago that I have to separate favours from friendship. If I didn't, I
certainly wouldn't have any friends. Anyway, take care and hopefully I'll be in
Czech Republic next summer. Or if you ever need to get to a beach. My
brother said he should be flying out here at some point. The north part is
almost as cheap as
Czech Republic. later
Yes, Ann, you're welcome even to crash for a few nights. My wife will get
over it. We were roommates a night or two out in Liben, now weren't we? That
was one of the strangest mornings of my life, I must say. And I can also
remember someone saying, "Dump her, throw her overboard" so many, many years
ago. Now who would that have been? My number is still 736 787, Ann, and my new
address is, officially third floor, I think it's number 21. I do believe you
used to live in that hood (bought wine for your party in the building I lived
in about seven or eight years later). That was the fateful night I met
Charlie, and my life has never been the same (ran into him the next day
carrying a guitar as I recall - you remember that - yes, I brought the
football). When are you coming in, Kozmaniac?
> U IN TOWN
So what's your email address now? Sent you at least one email but didn't get
a response. I'm using Vanquish now, and 30 bucks a year definitely worth it to
totally get rid of all spam. Good system and I like it. you can check out my
travel blob at
travel europe is ya
like. Started a little
European
property investments page. Who knows eh? I mean, I'd be happy to do legwork
for someone just for the gas money and the opportunity to meet people i would
never have met on my own. Right now I'm in
Cyprus and think I'll hang here low for a while, as my costs are very low
here, I've found free internet, and I need to pay back a lot of debts. If you
ever swing by here, send me a note. Got my bongo with me, heh heh.
can't remember if I already wrote about this, but just wanted to thank you
for the presents. You saved my ass, heh heh. Although the oak bark was only
enough for two servings, it seemed to make a big difference. Now I'm fully
healed it seems and regularly working on my back. I'll still go to Greece when
they ask me, but ask if they think it is still necessary. I think it would be
better, because I don't like the trickling see through liquid after every poop,
and it does seem aggravated in general, but I'm glad I'm back to something
resembling normal. Next time I try the parasite cleanse I'll make sure to eat
what they suggest, as the super
diarrhea
seems to have triggered all this. And I will keep with me these super
inflamatories for emergency if there is ever a next time, because they seem to
help a lot as well. I guess the situation was further aggravated by my fast,
because you are supposed to take the anti-inflammatories after a heft meal, so I
couldn't for several days and was in great pain until I started taking those
pills. My salad dressings are much tastier with the caraway seeds and I wear the
new green sweater all the time. I still need to buy some smaller refillable
propane tank for the glukopur, so that will have to wait until I get some cash
again. But I found a good parking spot and now have stable and fast internet for
free every day. That is great, as I can work casually with internet all day
long, and it saves me money. So I spend most of my time on campus, and it feels
neat to be around all the youngsters and feels like I'm back in university, with
my entire life in front of me. Yesterday I even walked around campus with my
little binder in my hand, so I felt even more like a student. And the girl at
the copy shop asked if I was a student. Many times people actually ask me that,
so I have to chuckle. I guess I look young. But I was putting up signs offering
free English lessons in exchange for beers and company, so hopefully I'll start
meeting people at some point. One of the greatest drives to meet people is the
sports hall nearby where I park. I walked through there a few days ago checking
out where they have their showers, so I can sneak in. But I was drooling over
their squash and tennis courts, and it would be a perfect dream if I hooked up
with some sports people and started playing various sports, and then having a
decent shower afterwards. It was practically free when I used to go to
university, so I imagine it could be pretty cheap here. And with free beers,
I'll be settled in quite nicely here. Although I still have the temptation to go
to some other part of the island, because I really don't appreciate the litter
on this beach. Turks are such pigs. Maybe I'll just buy a rake and clean up the
entire beach, and scold any litterbugs. At least that will earn my place on this
beach. Some establishment is under reconstruction here, so my free supply of
water and a toilet has been cut off. I guess they are getting ready for the
summer season. If they see that I clean the beach, which would be good for their
business, maybe they'll appreciate it and not mind that I use their water etc.
Otherwise, further down the road there is a caravan park, but it costs about 30
bucks a week, so too much for my budget. They don't even have hot water, but if
I get rich again, maybe I'll think about it. But if I can't park directly on the
beach facing the sunrise like here, I do not see great benefit of parking there.
Even with my extreme poverty, I'm taking this week off work, because
God indicated I should, and said he will
renew my wealth if I follow all his commands. Hopefully it will turn out like
that. I'm writing down all the days in the calendar when I am supposed to
respect the Sabbath and not work, and all the commandments, and studying them.
Anyway, I'm feeling much more upbeat and just thought I'd send ya an update and
a thanks for the presents. The oak bark truly did save my butt, but not sure if
the oakbark cream does anything. lateroo
how's it hangin? Right now I'm in Cyprus enjoying the weather and think I'll
hang here for a while, as it seems a good place, and my costs are rather low. If
you ever feel an inkling for some sandy beach, let me know and you got a couch
to crash on. Was wondering, do you have the DVD for God Father 2? I converted
mine to avi but lost the subtitles in the process, which are necessary, since
half the movie they speak in italian. If you had the DVD maybe you could email
me the English subtitle file. I found this great program for viewing subtitles
which plays transparently overtop any other program, and with which you can put
the subtitles anywhere you want, and adjust the timing etc. I can send that to
you if ya like. Say hi to the folks. laterman
just read your email on the mobile and will write again if I missed
something. Yah, big annoying guts problem, and thought the only person I would
dare confide this to would be a mother. An extreme case of too much information
and couldn't imagine anyone wanting to read this. But I laced the letter with
humour, and actually sent a smaller version to some friends and they had a good
laugh. Actually decided that I will use my old emails and put them up on various
blobs, for seo
purposes. Links to my various sites, but not to the blob from my sites, because
a lot will be personal (but vetted) outgoing emails that I wouldn't want to
reveal about myself to most people I know. I think I'll call it "Memoirs of
Bimbus" and could be a funny read for the desperate. I imagine there must be
lunatics out there surfing through the endless blobs out there looking for a
read. I can't possibly imagine it interesting me, as I'm not a happy reader, but
I guess other people are. Well, I can send you some of those guts emails if you
really want. Could be a funny read. Otherwise, yah, it was horrible. For one
quick graphic description, I was lying on the beach with this massive plum
hanging out of my ass, and had such a bad case of diarrhea that I'd piss all
over myself out my ass before I could even get into the water. So after a while
I didn't even give a "shit" anymore while I casually walked into the ocean, a
river of gruesome yellow diarrhea pouring down my leg. I guess it was because of
that parasite cleansing. Or half the time I'd crawl in like a crab while filling
up my shorts. Must have looked quite odd to the various people on the beach in
the distance. But it was coldish that day and lay there wet all day in a wool
blanket. At one point the police even came to visit the beach, so I was praying
I wouldn't have a shit event while they were hanging around. And the hemeroids
was extremely painful the whole day. Totally horrible experience. But it seems
to have gotten to some normalish state, and am looking forward to the operation
and hopefully will be totally back to normal. Been fighting these hemoroids long
enough and quite sick of it. Otherwise I'm pretty healthy. But you can imagine
that, with this too much information, mom flipped, went frantic, couldn't sleep,
and started sending me overboard suggestions of flying me back to Prague, of
course with conditions and how she would totally change and rule my life, to see
one of her famous hemmeroid doctors. I have to admit that, after 14 years in
Prague, not ONE of her or even dad's contacts has turned out to be remotely
useful. All this talk about how great they are my entire life, and I was better
off turning to the yellow pages and then depend on their great connections. No
stress though. But I resolved the problem, on my own, as I usually do, without
resorting to any of mom's delirious remedies. Told her I probably shouldn't tell
her such bad news, even though it felt good to confide in someone, but she said
she'd rather know. No big skin off my back, these hysterical emails, but not
healthy her not being able to sleep. But it´s all okay now, basically, so
hopefully she wont be in such a stress anymore. Thanks for expressing concern.
But at least I found out I don´t have to return back to
Czech Republic in July, it seems. That was one rather annoying point, having
to return every year. I figure it would cost me about 50,000Kc, considering I´d
have to replace the back four tires to make it that far, and with gas and ferry.
Shit, I might as well fly to Thailand with that kind of money. But it turns out
I can buy health insurance here, that my normal
Czech Republic health insurance works in the Greek/EU part of the island,
and what concerns the papers for the
caravan truck, that is only for the smog test, and apparently I just tell
them I was away from the country, and show them my passport, and they are cool
with that and give me time to get my shit together. It seems that the smog test
stuff is more for
Czech Republic, and I guess EU, which I generally avoid. I look at the cars
driving on this island, with the totally black smoke coming out, and I wonder if
they even have smog tests here. I still have to research how it works, or if I´m
caught in other countries with these expired stickers. But the stickers are so
tiny, and on the licence plate, I guess no cop will even look at them,
especially if they see the
Czech Republic plates. Hard to say. Shit, I can even go to a printing
company and get something similar printed out myself. Who the hell would know
the difference, if they really cared. So I´m quite glad I´ve totally cut the
umbilical chord, because that was one thing which was rather annoying me about
my new lifestyle. Now I might be able to just cruise around the world as I feel
like, taking my time, going one direction. Of course, I still have to wait for
the world to pull its head out of its ass, with wars going on, screwed up
governments, lack of internet in some places, a pain and ridiculous conditions
to cross some borders. Maybe in five years I´ll be able to drive to Thailand.
That would be a nice dream, but I aint going that direction quite yet. But I
think this island is a pretty good bet, cause 20k away is a border to another
country, so I can just cross over, get a stamp on my passport, and extend my
stay here another month or two. It´s cheap here in the
turkish north,
the weather is good, and I finally found free and fast internet, so my costs are
low, and I think this will be a good base to get back up on my feet and pay back
all my debts. Shit, I must be the leanest and meanest
translation agency in the world. Now to just
get some work. Seems I can work half a week to earn enough to pay for a month.
Too bad I´m getting less work than that. If I can just get enough work, I´d be
sailing real easy like. On the other hand, ever day on the radio I here them
talk about hooking up with the south. That would be a disaster. Don´t know what
I´d do if they did. Maybe try to become a citizen, for I sure don´t have the
cash to get off this island. But my guess is it will still be a while before
they accomplish that, although one never knows. I think the Greek side is pissed
off at the Turks and don´t want to hook up unless certain ridiculous conditions
are fulfilled, which the Turks will never agree to. So I´m crossing my fingers
for that, and am prepared to stay here a year or more if I have to. Hopefully
the police won´t get annoyed with me. But if I show them that my income is from
abroad and explain I am only bringing money to their country, perhaps they wont
mind. Yah, I can see that mom is potentially losing it. I remember once in
Prague mom asked me if she could stay with me if Vlad rolls over. I
instinctively said yes. But that was when I had a flat with an extra room, and
even for that I´m having grave doubts. But in this truck? It´s out of the
question and I have already painted a scenario about how I´d have to listen
every five seconds comments about my driving, and little concerns about this
part of the truck or that. I think I´d go insane and run into the ocean and
drown myself. So I really don´t think I´d have the tolerance to put up with
that. Its okay once in a while, or through emails, but to actually live
together? Out of the question man. Or even visiting them at Christmas, listening
to their constant arguing. I know married couples can get like that, but I
certainly don´t see the point. I can´t imagine wanting to stay with one girl
more than three years. Or ever marrying. The conversation gets old after a
while, and I like to live a crazy life. Certainly can´t imagine wanting to
settle down in one place. I´d much rather get involved in some orphanages, than
raise my own kids. I like kids, but I really don´t need such a stagnant
lifestyle. I used to aspire to getting married, but I can´t imagine it anymore.
And I can´t imagine any girl wanting to put up with this lifestyle. Especially
the recent hell I had to go through, piss shittin into a bucket in the
caravan truck. Who the hell would want to put up with that? Even if it
didn´t really stink. I´m just too eccentric now, and really don´t mind. But I´m
thinking of some travelling chick once in a while. A shorter term thing, and
drop her off at the nearest gas station if she ever gets on my nerves. That
would probably be perfect for me. Vlad and mom can argue all they want, as long
as I don´t have to listen to it. I think it´s sad, but they are the type who
couldn´t handle it alone, so they have to put up with it. Well, guess that´s all
I can think of, and letter long enough, so I´ll end here. Take care dude. Oh
yah, one more thing. Seems I´m almost done with my latest script thing. I´m
quite proud of it. I´ve been trying to accomplish this forever, but never had
enough cash to entice one of my programmers to complete it for me, so I started
learning about programming myself and, with a little help, managed to get it
working. Had to learn from the other scripts, and get the slightest help, but I
must say I find this script stuff and online databases quite interesting. So
much still to learn though, and I have some other charity databases I want to
get running, but at least I got this one running. It´s basically a website where
translators can post comments about
translation agencies´ payment reputation. It needs to be a system where the
user has to log into an online account, because posting such information on the
public domain will leave me exposed to getting sued for libel. There are a few
people doing the same, but my system seems the most intelligent and best out
there, so I hope that it will become popular on the internet. A good way to get
more translators and improve my site´s traffic. But I want to expand the system
to include any company hiring someone out, and then make a similar system
concerning actual products and services. Because if something like this would be
well known enough, concerned consumers, as I like to call them, could research
any product before buying it. We are destroying the planet and we cannot depend
on governments, who are basically controlled by the big corporations, to act
responsibly. The consumer has to take up the slack, and if the consumer knew
that spending x amount of extra cents on a pair of sneakers would do x amount
better what concerns the environment and slave child labour in third world
countries, this would put pressure on the big multinationals. Anyway, just a big
dream of mine, and no one seems to be doing anything like this. The next big
dream database is a voting system, to create a real democracy. Another long
story. Well, just wanted to share with you my joy of finally getting this first
charity database operational. laterman
<<<<<<<<<<< next section
seems. Had a few projects a couple of weeks ago, so a little bit of survival
money. The trip here to
Cyprus must have cost me about 500 bucks. That could have been two months
survival. Oh well. Glad to hear David was talking with you. I was pressuring him
to do so. About turntable, well, it's sad, but I guess sell it. My friend David
makes no effort to write to me and neither do my friends from university.
Everyone gets married and babies and doesn't care about old friendships, but
only on the here and now. It's sad, but I will just not trust people like I used
to. I should have gave that good stereo to you. Working so hard during the
summers treeplanting, buying a new component each year, and building up a great
stereo system. The turntable cost me about 1,500$. But I'm more glad that I had
a more interesting option, of going to
Prague, than staying on boring north america. I can´t imagine even wanting
to settle down anywhere now, as I rather like this lifestyle. I mean, I could be
really rich, and have a house right on the beach, but that would be much more
boring than now, as I am on the beach when I want, and can move to another beach
if bored. A sedate life in one place really bores me, and I hope to live my next
ten to twenty years with a more interesting life than what Prague offered me,
even though Prague could be still the best city in the world. I lived there
through the magic years, when it was like Paris after WW2 and things and people
were interesting there, but the last 4 to 5 years were rather boring. The stereo
I have in the car is pretty good, and more convenient to run things off an mp3
player. The turntable would be neat if I had a permoresidence. But I´m sure they
sell second hand records still, which can be easily cleaned, and there are
probably still audiophiles out there. Perhaps you can run an ad for a longer
time until you find a nut. I wouldn´t go lower than 400 bucks, and perhaps you
could get more. My plum ass is practically back to normal, so no need to send
the oak bark. Hopefully everything will be totally normal after the operation. I
still bleed practically every time I crap, and I´m tired of the daily struggle.
Well, I think I covered your letter. Now for something new, which I am really
excited about. Unfortunately, its technical and probably boring for you, so I´ll
make it short. But there is something I have been struggling with for many
years. I have several charity projects, which require an online database and
some fancy programming. I never had enough money to pay a programmer to put it
together, but I couldn´t wait any longer so started learning some basic
programming myself. Quite an interesting area, and much much much to learn, but
quite interesting. In any case, I learned some basic stuff, and with help from
one of my programmers, it looks like I finally got the first project running. I
was using his language on some previous projects, copy/pasting little snippets
and learning how to do it, so I basically learned enough Perl to get it running.
I learned Pascal in university and all languages basically follow the same
logic, except they say it in different ways. Basically the computer follows the
logic, 1) IF you do this, 2) THEN either do this, 3) ELSE that, OR 4) GO TO this
line and try that. Its just a bunch of IF, THEN etc. statements following some
sort of logic. Quite interesting making something run. Anyway, the first project
is a system where translators can post comments about the payment reputation of
translation agencies. Not getting paid a few times in the past, it always really
angered me and I wanted a good system like this up on the net. There are systems
out there, but they are not so good. Mine is pretty simple but already much
better, so I hope it become popular, because it will be a great way to pick up
new translators and develop a good name for myself. Once I get this up and
running, I can use it as a template for my other projects, with only a little
help from my programmers. So I have been very excited to be working on that the
past week and look forward to when it is fully functional. I guess I´ll write to
all my translators and ask them to contribute something. Doesn´t pay any bills,
but is good for my website. I am now in top ten of many important keywords, so
it looks like I know what I´m doing, and I just need to keep doing that, and
hopefully start to get some work at some point. Well, guess that´s it for now.
latero
How are you? I hope some good angels helped you to improve your financial
situation... Didn't write to you for some time but this has nothing to do with
my payment and do not worry about it at all! These days we are all busy with
Easter celebration and I wonder do you feel lonely? Write when you can. Happy
Easter and a lot of successful projects,
thanks for the Easter wish. Just to let you know that emailing has tired me
out a bit, so I do not always respond so quickly, but I always will respond.
Tend to do things in waves, answering a bunch of a certain type of emails at
once. Don't worry about the payment. This is business and I always pay my
translators. The customer said it should be able to pay "soon", so hopefully
within a couple of weeks. Then I'll pay the rest from future projects. I'll
write to everyone as soon as I get paid. At least everyone working on this
project is relaxed about the payment. But it is my business policy to pay
everyone. Usually I'm rolling in the cash, and this has been an unusually long
dry spell. But at least I'm starting to see good success with my search engine
optimisation, now in the top ten on google in many important keywords. At least
I know what works and now I'll just keep plugging away at that, so I assume I
should start getting new customers at some point. I don't feel lonely because I
like my work, and find that a lot of conversation is a waste of time anyway. Did
plenty of that and drinking in Prague and would like to be more productive now.
But hooking up occasionally with fellow travellers can be fun. So I'm pretty
well happy either way things happen. Recently I put an ad at the university here
offering free
English lessons in exchange for beer, so hopefully I'll meet some students I
can play squash, tennis, or other sports with. That is always a big joy for me.
And an opportunity to have a decent shower.
Saw mum for Easter dinner; she annoyed the hell out of me bossing me around
to clear the table and generally trying to make herself look like a Big Shit
at my expense in front of her Canadian friends. Luckily I seated myself at the
opposite end of the table as her and Vladimir so managed to keep the
irritation to a minimum. She's kind of turning into an old hag, hey?
Yah, I know what you mean about her acting lofty, and so right and all that.
And convinced that the strawberries and mushrooms are the largest in Boskov of
anywhere else in the world. The way I look at it, her parents died when she was
young, she got uprooted to Canada, and yes, she does have a hysterical and
spaced out edge, like she's trying to avoid being honest with herself. I
struggle with the same frustration, but I have learned to be more tolerant and
understanding, almost sympathetic of her situation. I too feel that she could
lose it when getting older, and hope it doesn´t come to that. I´d like to be
there for her if it ever comes to that. She went through hell raising me, as you
did too. We already talked about this, and I can apologise a hundred times, but
not sure if it would mend much. I was screwed up too. I never realised this, but
cousin Lucka says that her mom felt sorry for me when I was a kid, that I was
neglected, and she saw the effect on me. I never really thought that, although
there were times when mom´s attitude etc made me angry, but I don´t feel
particularly scarred by it. But perhaps I was and that contributed to my bad
behaviour. David seems to have the same tendencies, but at an early age I sat
down with him and reasoned with him, explaining to him that he should not blame
his mother for being such an incredibly inept moron, and should not belittle her
like he does, but rather try to grow up faster, be mature, and support her. I
explained how difficult it is to raise a kid on her own, coming home from work
tired and all that, and still have to cook dinner etc. And that if he abuses
her, he will have problems with his relationships, especially with women, later
in life. I think he took this to heart, but I did not have such guidance. It is
natural for a young person to see everything from their own perspective and act
accordingly. Then Vladimir came along and it was total hell. Anyway, my sense is
that you are still holding onto these angers, and that it would hurt you more
than anyone else. Sure, it would hurt mom, and she would feel sad because of the
separation, but these bitter feelings and poison would fester within you on a
more constant level. That is why the bible says that forgiveness heals, like I
once said. I read your blob a bit and you seemed like you were doing a lot of
venting by ranting against mom. I understand the feeling, but feel it could be
unnecessarily destructive for you. Otherwise, I pretty well agree with
everything you wrote here, it´s just that I try not to think of it against mom
in such a negative way but look for ways to help her. Over the past while I´ve
been realising the good things mom went out of her way to help us, like the
summer camps, for example. I see how she makes an effort with David, paying for
his camp, and it reminded me of the same. Everyone has their faults. Heck, even
Jens and Sonya complain about dad. Mala Jana said she hadn´t seen him for 20
years and he just walked by her like a ghost and turned on the TV. Some people
might scream bloody murder. I was disappointed that he did not let me move to
them when I finally had enough with the Vits, packed my stuff and escaped to his
brother Beda in Vancouver. But I let all that slide, visited them in Colorado,
and I now have a nice relationship with all of them. When I see dad, I cannot be
angry at him, because I see that he genuinely cares, but that he´s just not into
this domestic family stuff. So it is better to fully forgive everyone. Shit,
I´ve even done the same with Vladimir, my worst enemy in the world for a long
time. Now we have a tolerable and nice relationship. Once he blew up at me when
I was visiting mom for Christmas, and I wrote her a long letter that if she
wants to see more of me, I will not tolerate such behaviour. I´m tempted to
smack him hard in the face, but that would hurt mom, and cause a lot more harm
then necessary. As long as he understands that I will not want to be around them
if he gets out of line. But he got out of line because I was not helping mom
shovelling snow. Long story. So I understand his
Czech mentality that the male should jump in and help, but he obviously did
not understand that I considered what mom was doing was absolutely retarded, and
I would have a much more intelligent solution to the scenario. Anyway, it is
better to understand both sides like this, and let things slide, or try to
explain ones point of view in a more tact way. It is not good to hold the
poisonous bitterness inside. Then again, you have to deal with them more often,
so perhaps its different. Otherwise, when they were in
Prague, I saw them quite frequently, and everything seemed rather civil. It
was only that one time in Vancouver with the snow, but that was also freshly
after Vlad drove from Whistler, and I could see already, on the way, how he was
building up frustration trying to pass everyone. Probably saved only five
minutes, and practically killed all of us a few times, but these are the
problems of someone like Vladimir with a short fuse. He is blind to this, and
how it is potentially very destructive and damaging to stress and heart attacks
etc., and I wrote this in a long letter to mom as well. Maybe she told him this,
and maybe he took it to heart, because he seems to have settled down a lot. It´s
for his own good. But smacking him around, which has long been a great
temptation, would not benefit anyone, so I am glad I refrained myself. With you
I get an inkling that, if mom were to kick the bucket while you harbour these
feelings, it might eat at you more. Like you won´t be able to make up with her
and it will torment your heart anymore. Don´t want to play the psychologist with
you or anything, but just telling you my impression, even if wrong, cause I´d
want to spare you such torment. I think when people harbour such bitterness,
they hold onto their point of view so much that they can easily become blind to
the harm it causes them. So my suggestion is to try and let go of all these
angers, think of things from her perspective, and perhaps out of sympathy try to
help her. I think they´ve both become much more civil and I can tolerate them
more, but mom definitely seems to have a problem of avoiding the truth, and
Vladimir is still old school and so convinced he´s right about everything. A
rather painful combination, but they´re the ones who have to live with it.
Personally, they have my sympathy, and I´ve decided I´ll even support Vlad if
mom croaks before he does. It would be absolutely devastating for him. I think
for me it would be easy to shun him with a cold shoulder, but I would feel
poison within me and I don´t want it there. I´d rather fully forgive everyone
and clean myself of such bitter feelings. I´ve also grown to appreciate what
Vlad has done for me. I think he wanted kids and cared for us etc., and was
willing to give his all, but under his old school conditions, which is obviously
out of the question. He simply is not good with kids, primarily because he´s so
convinced he´s right and expects the old school respect etc. So he practically
has my sympathy as well. They truly are a sad lot in many respects, but I´d
rather try to help them out than battle directly against them, because this
would be hurting myself as well. When I finally learned to let go of my anger
against Vladimir, I released a lot of anger generally, and was able to get along
with about 30% of the male population who I generally practically want to
pulverise for their masculine stupidity. These types of idiots generally still
rub me the wrong way, and I think it is because of the repression I had to grow
up under that mentality. So in short, although I generally agree with everything
you say, and find your articulation about it rather eloquent and humurous, my
hunch is that you should try to let go of it and try to take a more positive
approach. Have a good one dude.
I mean she always used to be bossy and stuff but now it's lost it's
'charming' 'humourous' edge! I also think that her and Vladimir are fighting
constantly, I haven't brought it up with her because really . . . my own
opinion from the very beginning has been that he was a very bad choice for a
mate. But she saw him as a means to an end, and the rest of everything be
damned! So she's living with the fallout now. Anyways she told me you are
having some serious problems with your digestion. I haven't heard from you in
a couple of weeks . . . you don't only have to write when it's good news, you
know! you can write if you're having trouble with something. So apparently
you've been to a Turkish doctor and are booking into a Greek hospital? Good
thing your insurance covers it, coz that would be a big banana problem. You do
whatever they tell you, I know you're uncomfortable now but these things do
have cures and soon you will be back to normal. I guess you have a problem
though, of needing to have some papers renewed in Prague by July? Any idea how
you're going to do that? Is there someone there that can do it for you? Can
you get a paper notarized giving power of attorney for these specific things?
Let me know, a lot of times I can't get information properly out of mum. She
complains that Jana is all confudleheaded, but she is going that way rapidly
herself. That's one thing for sure I know that's driving Vladimir crazy; at
Christmas he tried to be all like, "You're going to end up like that too."
Looking at me all INSIGHTFUL like. He probably just wanted to get me back
because before that I was all like, "Well, you went and married it all by your
own choice whereas I was born to it." I know I won't end up all confused and
wrapped around inside my head because I have faced my past and live honestly,
while mum has piled the lies and deception so deep she's completely lost her
true self by now. (man that was kind of brutal, I know you won't tell her or
anyone any of this which is good because one small shake and she's going to
unravel entirely. I don't want to be anywhere near the deconstruction when it
happens. I'm just SICK of always being the patient one, always allowing the
indiscretions in the interests of family harmony, of there never being even
the smallest moment of just normal peace & quiet, . . .) I guess I'm finally
growing up properly and coming into my own. Even though sometimes I long for
it, I am SO GLAD I haven't had kids yet because I took our fucked up, upheaval
of a childhood really hard and am just arriving at the truth of my own Self
now! later man, take care of yourself.
It is still
Turkey
right? Talk properly to the doctors about "after operation" procedures. No
infection please!!!!!! And maybe you could take a break from those fasts. You
did harm yourself already.
Yup, still in the Turkish part of
Cyprus. Intersting history. More recently, apparently there was some Greek
backed coup around 1970 or something, they took over the government, and then
the Greek majority were repressing the Turkish minority (about 18% back then),
even committing genocide and atrocities. So the Turks invaded, gobbled up half
the island, including half the capital city (last divided city in the world I
think), and then promoted migration of Turks to the island, such that the
original natives, who speak a slight dialect, are now the total minority. Of
course the Greeks are totally pissed that they lost half the island, and are
using their EU clout to prevent the Turkish side from trading with anyone else.
This has greatly economically repressed the region, but that's okay with me,
because everything is SO much cheaper here than the EU south, only 20 km away.
But last year the GDP in the north increased by 35%, and they are managing to
develop, and establish trade links, and even talk about joining with the south.
Hard to guess what will happen, and I hope they stay separated, which my guess
will be the case for a while still. So technically I am in the TRNC, the
Turkish Republic of Northern Cyrpus, which view countries in the world
acknowledge as a country, which is separate from Turkey, but sort of part of it.
An interesting situation for me, hee hee. Concerning the fast, when did I hurt
myself with it? The ass thing started even before the fast and was, as I already
explained, because of the parasite cleanse and the resulting super diarrhea
because i was not eating the right foods in conjunction with the parasite
cleanse. Once again you are using your famous logic, "See, if you had brushed
your teeth this morning like I told you, you wouldn't have fallen on your chin
right now". You will never be able to "reason" with me, as you say, with such
illogical arguments. If you ever want to learn about the health benefits of
fasting, I can show you the website I am preparing. Until then, you should save
your breath and advice, because you really do not know what you are talking
about. You are following the same logic that I have to hear from everyone else,
even doctors. That logic being: "food is good. One needs food to surivive.
Therefore not eating is not good for you." That's the same logic as Babicka's:
"I look out at the world with my own two eyes, see that its flat, and therefore
refuse to believe it is round." The same logic used for hundreds or thousands of
years, but we both no it not to be true, right? And what do you mean take a
"break" from fasting? I do it once a year for about 8 days, to clean my body of
poison. Why should I not do that for one year. You really don't know what your
talking about and you are just following your own common sense without any
information and research, like I have been researching on the subject for years.
Anyway, I understand your concern, but I know I'm right, as usual, heh heh. Just
wrote to David about his not so great znamky, as you said. Explaining to him his
future options, that he should probably not depend on his mother for advice, and
that he should find out by going to Charles university or something what their
requirements are. I am led to believe that the
Czech government still pays a lot of the education, but that it is exTREMEly
competitive to get accepted, and that they may look at grades in early
highschool or something. Assuming he's not going to bother trying to find out
this information himself, do you know anyone who knows about the requirements
etc.? I think it would be good to have him start thinking about this early. I
told him I'd support him with advice etc. if he wanted to screw university and
podnikat like us, but that running a business requires self motivation much like
that required to get good grades, so he should practice, and that with good
grades he will at least have the choice whether he wants to continue or not.
Well, guess that's that for today's email. Almost finished with my PP site, and
very happy about that. I can show it to you if you like. I'm also getting great
results with my search engine rankings, so I know what needs to be done, and now
simply a matter of keep doing that, and then hopefully start getting some
customers. It's a long struggle indeed. latero
I was planning to tell him something about Jesus during that time, but did
not feel it was appropriate because we weren't alone completely, but I might
do it today after the Easter, asking him how he celebrated it and what's
Easter really means. How was your Easter? You are saying you had some medical
problems? What happened? You need to have an operation? Please tell me more, I
am already praying for you that hopefully you will be healed supernaturally!
Please write more so we can all pray to the right problem...
Howdy do. I'll answer the rest of your letter later when I'm offline. Right
now I'm online stealing, hee hee, the university's free
internet, parked up not very inconspicuously on the grass as close as I can
get to the entrance to this building, where the signal is the strongest. When
the sun goes down around 6 I have to end my internet day, as the wifi tends to
suck a lot of battery power. Then I go offline and do the rest of my work in
that way. I've slowly been talking to David about God, but I'd like to more, and
we get into good discussions by email, better than in person almost, which I was
trying to nurture before I left Prague, so that we can continue to have contact
and I can help in his upbringing. I'll try to talk about
God more, but your personal contribution
would be a good introduction, or good input. My problem? Well, it could be a
massive dose of too much information. But I did send excerpts out to people by
email and they had to laugh. In short, I was trying a parasite cleanse before my
annual fast, I did not follow so well their instructions what I'm supposed to be
eating, and I ended up having the massive case of
diarrhea.
So much so that I basically shit out my
hemorrhoids and it inflamed to level 4 and a horribly painful level. Ever
tried to drive a 4 tonne vehicle standing up? Well I had to do that to get to
the hospital. Anyway, I managed to reduce the inflammation and is basically to
how it was before, which wasn't very satisfying. Frequently bleeding when I take
a crap in the morning. I've been struggling with it for about five years, trying
to heal it naturally, and decided I'm sick of it and will just chop off that
annoying plum. In the southern Greek/EU part of the island, it seems my normal
Czech
Republic insurance works, so it will get done for free, I believe. Maybe
I'll have to work on my stomach for a few days and wont be able to drive back
right away, meaning
work and internet will be a problem. Which may require that I get a Greek
sim card. But I wanted to get that anyway, so I can drive around the island
more. But that will have to wait until I get some work. Still very poor, but
trying my hardest! Will answer more later. latero!
> The website, yes, is kick-ass.
Thanks for the input dude. I admit that I like your testimonial and sounds
real good and serious, and that I sometimes write like a two year old.
Eventually I want to hire someone to fix up the wording and I'll look at your
suggestions closely. Right now I just finished, basically, the payment practices
site, where translators can post their opinions about the
payment reputation of their customers, and view things in general. Been
struggling with it the last few days, and using popup javascripts from your old
application form, and basically copying snippets from all over the place, with
some help from my programmer. Still looks a bit junky, but I'll work on
improving the look and feel more later. Right now I just wanted to get the thing
operating. But speaking of junky ways of expressing myself, I think you might
want to call out the stretcher and white jackets for me on this one. Every time
I look at certain sections I have to burst out laughing. I guess my
uncontrollable desire to not be serious, while venting some anger against
agencies or customers which have not paid me in the past (even the present,
actually). So, if you're up to checking out what a fool I make of myself on the
internet, go to www.kenax.cz, then the
translation resources link, then the
Payment Reputation link. Then you can read that for a good laugh, and get
lubed up for the next stage, by following the View Database Records link. For
your convenience, I'll give you one of the accounts I was playing around with:
username password kJEJnA Before you click on that, you might consider taking a
peak at the new Terms and Conditions of KENAX, near the Continue button at the
bottom, designed to protect me from libel (I hope). But there is a link to those
pages later too. One you log in, click on the Payment Reputation link, and there
you will see my little creation. Unfortunately a bit Perly slow, but it will
have to wait until I can get the mysql thing working later. I think the .ru
server is a bit slow too, but can't dream of migrating things just yet. The
second link to the Terms and Conditions is through the Help link at the top
right. Well, if ya have time to check it out, enjoy. Next project is to make a
similar thing for products and services, as explained in the first Payment
Reputation site through kenax.cz. adio
thanks for the tips on the fan. I checked out the battery settings, and where
I can set the CPU to different speeds and the brightness of the screen, but they
only apply to when I am on battery power. When plugged into AC, which I am
basically all the time, it automatically kicks into maximum CPU mode. Besides, I
question this power maximiser at all. The CPU thing can be good, but I have task
manager running, and when I am not doing any operation, which is most of the
time, it's just idle. And when I need it, I'd rather have it done faster. And if
it is done slower, it will take longer. So possibly the same energy spent in the
long run. A horse pulling a stone a certain distance will probably expend the
same number of juels whether it pulls it there faster or slower. So I guess I'll
have to contact ibm help, and maybe some forums as I noticed, to see if I can
somehow command the fan to keep running, if advisable (wouldn't want to burn out
the ram - but I assume it would be more advisable to burn out and replace that
than burn some component on the motherboard etc.). And I guess I'll rig up some
fan system for the outside. I've been told that the desktop computer fans run on
12V. That would be perfect. Marinas also sell similar but more powerful fans.
Was planning on rigging up such fans throughout the truck. Some sucking in
cooler air from under the truck, to blow on me while sleeping, with others
blowing on the inverters and other electronic equipment, for which I was going
to make a special cabin/closet area. I guess for the comp I'll make a table
thing with desktop fans blowing air from around upwards on the laptops
underside, where it seems the hottest, and then try to program the fan inside to
keep working when its hot. Yesterday was still bareably hot, and already the
underside was scarily hot. Would probably shorten the laptop's life if I keep
abusing it like this. Anyway, it's fun rigging up the truck like this,
customising everything to death. I've been learning that I do not need to rely
on Mercedes parts all the time and that I can get something generic for about
one third the cost, or even manufacture things myself. I've been mending squeeky
parts practically with glue, using wire to hold parts of the truck together.
Recently my muffler fell, and the guys at the shop, who didn't speak
English at all, basically said, "Hey dude, your old truck is rusted shut
tight and we can't get in there to loosen the necessary bolts to work on
replacing your muffler." The owner shop basically stared at me blankly, giving
up and looking sorry. So, as usual, had to save the situation myself, rolled up
my sleeves, got out my WD40 and various tools, and got it solved myself. The
more I'm learning about this simple
caravan truck and engine, the more self sufficient I'm becoming. They were
all marvellling at me, with my little bike etc. tools, saying that with such
technical skills I can truly survive on my own. I think the laptop fan table
will be an interesting invention. One thing I was thinking of getting big white
sheets which can fasten to different parts on the outside, depending on which
angle the sun is hitting the truck. Lift up the sheets a bit so that there is
room to breath under it. With my super insulation, I find it can take up to 2pm
for it to get hot in the truck. Big problem is the back doors, which are not
insulated and which are like a stove when the sun lands on it. With my sheets
and my various fans, I think I could survive this upcoming summer. Will be fun
projects. later
Hope everything is well with you! I am back at work in Sofia after a superb
and brilliant trip visiting two very good friends, George and Jim, who
presently live in China. Plus, I also went to visit the typical tourist sites
of Beijing and Shanghai, and the Terracotta warriors in Xian. What a
fascinating experience!!
Hmm, the mobile phone thing is interesting. For my t-mobile service, my alarm
system, which has a sim card in it so that it can ring my phone when the alarm
goes off, has a locator down to about 100m. The newer model of the alarm system
can get it down to inches. But the website below is new information for me. Will
have to check it out, and tell my mom, as she's always worried about my survival
and where I am. Although I only turn on the phone when checking email. I'd be
interested about your experience with China. I feel an increasing calling to
check out Asia. Wish I could just drive there. Maybe eventually. You know
anything about mobile phone internet service? Internet is a big thing for my
work, and the screening of internet in a lot of these backward countries scares
me. For example Burma, which I would have to drive through to get to Thailand.
Maybe in fiveish years. laterman
But, I must admit, one of the most amazing discoveries that I made while I
was in China was this web "mobile phone tracker" on the internet!! I think the
Chinese government uses it but I am not completely sure. Anyway, by using the
Internet, it is now possible to locate a mobile phone within any GSM coverage
in the world!!!! You can check it out by going to:
http://www.sat-gps-locate.com For example, if
you want to locate a friend, their mobile cell phone must be turned ON. Then,
by filling in the country of their GSM service provider and their number, you
will be able to see exactly where they are by the use of this satellite
mapping system which is very similar to Google Maps! Absolutely unbelievable
this new Mobil Phone GPS Tracking site!!! I am very interested in hearing your
comments about this new "big brother" IT advancement!
will respond to your letter again when I download and read it again. Right
now I'm forwarding an email I got from Liba, which seems strangely timely and
topical to our present discussion. Personally I don't feel so scarred as
everyone would make it seem, but then again, one cannot see themselves so well
as others do. My greatest frustration is my inhibition in certain areas, but not
sure if that is a fundamental personality thing or from upbringing.
Nevertheless, as with any hurdle in my life, I always work to bulldoze all my
obstacles and accomplish all that I want. Which is one of the reasons I like
karaoke. I consider it like a rehabilitation fight club sort of thing, forcing
myself to overcome my fears and sing in front of people. Also with acting in
movies or commercials etc. Once in Vancouver, I was getting these vivid images
of me as an angel, with big white wings, but sitting on a hot dry earth, my
wings wilting away, until they were almost gone. Like an angel in hell. When I
was growing up in Eastvale, I felt I was popular among the local kids, like a
grown up hero for them. I would make jokes and remember how people were rolling
on the ground laughing their guts out. I was spontaneous in conversation and
well liked, but once Vladimir moved in, which his constant criticism and
repression, I noticed how I became increasingly secluded, isolated, low
confidence, inhibited, and I can go on. This has been a life long struggle to
climb out of. For a long time, I seemed to be attracted, almost still, to
extroverts, who tended to belittle me and treat me like a dog. It always got to
a point where I stopped being friends with them, after much abuse. Anyway, I can
go on, but this is just the cards I was dealt, and it makes no sense to dwell on
it and stop in my tracks, otherwise I would make no progress. These are simply
hurdles which I work to overcome, approaching it from a purely business and
logical approach. Otherwise, if I held onto it personally, I´m sure I would only
cripple myself and slow down my own healing. And my sense from your last letter,
to repeat, is that you are holding onto these pains, and it is slowing your own
healing. You say that I wont get off that easy, but what harm could you possibly
cause me. Do you think I am crippled with guilt here on the other side of the
planet? Hardly. Sure, I´d like to mend what wrong I did, but my salvation
certainly does not depend on it. The hurdles I work on overcoming have to do
100% with my own inhibitions, and lack of self-confidence, which were created
out of years of criticism. We did not have a nurturing childhood at all. I
remember one day I came home proud, exclaiming to mom I got an A+ in physics or
something, to which she accusingly asked, "Oh yah? And what did you get in
English, or
chemistry?" Knowing that those were my two worst subjects. And then
proceeded to tell me that the best is acceptable, and that second best is
nothing. Now I see that this is rather a joke, considering all that mom is
capable of. Zero on the computer, nothing what concerns musical instruments,
yipdeedoo she took a crash course in realestate, which I can equate with my two
week course in industrial first aid. Basically a lot of criticism but nothing to
show for it herself. When they were in Prague I hooked up with them after
running a marathon. My first one ever. When I told them my time, Vladimir
casually made reference what was the average among the world´s best, in a sweep
basically negligising my accomplishment. Whatever man. What accomplishments,
besides their endless critisising about ever nation in the world, can they show
for themselves? But I just blow off all these comments and move on. It is my own
accomplishment and I do it for myself. Sure, when I was young, their support was
important for me, but no longer. Anyway, you really seem to be holding onto
these grudges. When I was in Vancouver I felt I had to grovel around you, I had
cash back then, and was bringing to your home food and beers, and cooking, and
in the bars you practically commanded me to buy you drinks. Like I owed you from
a life of abuse. And I willingly did it, but after a while it seemed rather
childish. Like as if a lifetime of grovelling would somehow heal you, or that I
would even be interested in continuing with that over the long term. Maybe I
would, who knows. Or when I was partying with you and Keith, a few times Keith
looked at me rather accusingly, like you had filled his ears with horrid tales
of the past, and he couldn´t help but cast an evil, self- righteous judgement
against me. But I just looked up and stared right at him without flinching, and
he couldn´t hold his gaze against me for longer than half a second. And that is
because I felt the past is the past and I had no reason to sit there and grovel
for it. Shit happens man, and if people hold onto the past and chips on their
shoulders like this, they only become jaded and they limit their own selves. You
cannot hurt the person you hate but only yourself. You can fester ill feelings
within you against dad, but do you think he honestly feels it on the other side
of the globe? Or has a cloud of guilt hovering over his head until he goes to
the grave with head hanging low? No, these feelings fester within you, on a
permanent basis, and poison only you. And I feel many people are crippled this
way if they do not learn to let go and fully forgive and forget. It seems to
come with age. The young at heart have a greater tendency to jump into new
experience, which is why I find them refreshing. Anyway, letting go of my hatred
and anger towards Vladimir has truly set me free in many areas. It´s your life
and you choose how to go about it. Through these letters and helping you with
seo and stuff, I´d
like to rekindle some nice relationship with you, and if I were living in
Vancouver, perhaps I´d be willing to grovel over a long period and make you feel
better. Actually, when I was in Vancouver, I found I had to do that, because the
city is so bloody boring, and everyone so boring with their rent a videos, I
found myself exasperated in boredom waiting impatiently for another weekend or
Friday when you would invite me to your place, to watch videos or play computer
games, just so I could have some excitement in my week. I was probably
grovelling more out of total boredom and glad to at least have some social
activity. Which is essentially one of the reasons I moved to Prague anyway.
After one of my university friends told me he´d rather stay home and watch 90125
live broadcast on TV, like as if he didn´t have a VCR, rather than go out
drinking with me on Friday, I decided I´d had enough with that utterly boring
city and country, and after experiencing the utter excitement of Prague, and
Europe in general, I was totally done and relieved from Canada. I actually met a
Canadian in
Prague once who specifically asked me where I thought was more boring,
Canada or
Czech Republic. I thought it was some strange trick question, so I meekly
proposed Canada. And he totally exclaimed agreement. So I don´t even think you
will have the opportunity to receive satisfaction by watching me grovel, because
I don´t think I´ll ever want to spend a significant portion of my life in that
boring city of Vancouver. Anyway, it´s up to you. I think you´re not getting my
point, and don´t really even want to go that direction. And are feeling some
sort of vindication and satisfaction about not forgiving or something. I can
guarantee you that I would never carry with me any guilt because of it. I´m
totally free of all that, to the same degree that I have forgiven those who have
trespassed against me. The only thing you could possibly burden me with is a
sense of pity for you. And this is something I find people think - those who
hold onto grudges, and somehow feel they are getting the person back. Far be
from it. Anyway, I think we did have a nice relationship in the beginning, and
look back with a lot of fondness. Later I realise certain things I feel bad
about. Not that it weighs me down, but I just imagine how it must have felt on
your end, and I feel sorry for causing someone else pain. But these are mostly
isolated cases, where the rest I´d say I was rather annoyed with your way of
thinking. You seemed selfish and uncaring in many ways, and when you lied to me
this really burned me with anger. And like an uncontrollable tyrant, who didn´t
have any sufficient policing force above him before Vladimir came, I simply
exploded as human nature does. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and
youngsters don´t have the rational and reasoning that an adult might. Yet an
adult could easily become like a spoiled little tyrant if given the opportunity
to dictate. It is simple human nature and you can´t really blame anyone for it.
Anyway, this can become an endless discussion and not sure if my message will
ever sink in, so no point in rambling on my long letters. Many people don´t seem
to have time to read them. I already apologised once, but don´t see any point in
repeating myself, or grovelling forever. I´ve enjoyed the emailing and perhaps
the opportunity to get closer like this remotely, and if it makes you feel
better, I can agree to grovelling, but certainly not out of some self need to
heal my own guilt. I just think it is better to let go of the past and move
forward, for your own sake. I would feel sad and a loss if you became adamant
and unforgiving, and bottled yourself up and closed me out, but I certainly
wouldn´t mope around the planet for the rest of my life, with my head hanging
low, crippled in guilt. I´ve learned to break away from my past and move
forward, and that´s what I would do, no matter how unfortunate I considered it.
Concerning your statements about your creativity, well, that might open
another chapter of discussion, and maybe you should tell me if my letters are
too long. These letters are for me conversation, so I tend to write much longer
letters to everyone than I receive back from them. I type fast, like I´m
talking, and am trying to keep things shorter, as several people have indicated
such a request to me. Anyway, not sure I can offer much insight in this area. I
feel I´m also creative, playing on eleven musical instruments, composing my own
music, with lyrics, dabbling in painting, etc etc, but it has never been a
desire to make a profession out of it. It is simply a joy for me, and if I get
free beers out of organising a jam session and I get to play on various
instruments, I´m more than happy. But some of the things you said remind me of a
photography friend of mine, who would go on and on and on about his creative
juices. How he would choose to teach English rather than prostitute his great
creative energy by taking pictures of weddings, or commercial
photography.
He´d come home after a grinding day teaching English, which he detested, maybe
force himself to go for a walk in the forest or the centre of Prague and take
artsy fartsy pictures (albeit it good quality), but most of the time I saw him
sitting in front of one of my computers playing games. And I had to question his
reasoning, but rather did not say anything. Now he is a
professional wedding
photographer. My feeling now is that it is better to (supposedly) prostitute
oneself if it will give them an opportunity to practice their profession, gain
contacts in it, and learn something in the process. Perhaps use the prostitution
to buy better equipment. That same person can always go on the same walk in the
forest or the centre, and I do not believe that somehow they lose their creative
juices because of this supposed prostitution. When taking pictures of a married
couple, one can be creative too. Or it reminds me of a girl I met in Italy, who
was trying to develop her creative juices by promoting her own depression. Like
it was deepening her soul, which could then come out in her paintings or poems,
or whatever her artsy fartsy aspirations were. I consider these rather silly
arguments. But I really don´t know much about your situation or understand so
well what you are talking about. Sure, don´t sell out to some long term contract
where some dealer would own you or something, but if it is a one or two year
contract which could propell you into some domain, where you can develop
contacts and more experience, why not? But I really don´t know your situation
well and this is purely speculation. But I also have to question your reasoning
about spending 3,000$ on a fancy camera because some guy got 1.5 million hits
from his mobile phone camera. Personally I couldn´t care less about birds and
eagles. Well, generally, I consider myself an environmentalist, and love nature,
and want to preserve nature, and natural habitat for all the animals. Actually,
I´d say I´m a tree guy, and recently decided that I must love trees much more
than humans, who are vile selfish creatures, as the bible says, and I have grown
to learn. But I guess there are people out there who dig eagles. I just can´t
see how taking pictures of them would pay for that much money. But if it does,
hey, total power to you dude. As the bible say, the best that a person can
accomplish in their life is to eat (the
word of God),
drink (from the
Holy Spirit), and be glad with the work of their hands. "This is a
gift from God". So if what you enjoy puts bread on your table, this is one
of the best things you can do for yourself. So many people spend 8 hours doing
what they hate, then about two hours transporting to and from work, then maybe
another two or three hours between shitting, cooking, eating, and other
necessary chores and errands, till it leaves perhaps only a couple of hours a
day to do what they really want. Which often turns out to be turning on the boob
and turning off their brains, so that they can forget about their horrible day.
What a f*cking depressing existence. No wonder people spend so much time getting
wasted in the bar talking about absolutely nothing. Anyway, if this movie
script, and taking pictures of eagles, and painting etc is what gives you joy,
I´m always there to support one hundred percent. One female friend of mine told
me that she wanted to get into photography, to take pictures of nude chicks,
because that was what she felt she wanted to do, and asked me what I thought
about it. While everyone else around her was telling her that it was too late to
start, and that she was just a pretty little girl and should be satisfied with
looking for a husband or something, she said I was the only one who supported
her. I told her, if she felt that´s what she wanted to do, she should definitely
follow her feelings. Now she is sort of famous, with exhibits in Argentina,
Japan, Paris etc. Can´t check now if the link is still active, but her page was
http://www.terezazdavle.tk/ Anyway, I´m glad I
supported her and am proud that she considers my support back then instrumental
to her success. Shit, I´m poorer than a dog now, but I totally enjoy everything
I do. From sun up to sun down. So I think I´m totally better off than the
majority of people, no matter how much money they might make, or big house they
live in, or fancy car they drive. I just want to get more into charity now, for
the joy of it. Getting tired and bored of making money. So whatever you feel is
what you want to do, I would always support that, and believe that the money and
success will follow naturally. Sure, sometimes one might have to work at McD to
pay the rent, but if they keep plugging away at their interest, and are lucky to
spend most of their time doing what they enjoy, the financial end should take
care of itself later. Well, I´ll try to cut short here. Been blabbing endlessly
again. I guess I would just feel it is better to be working in an area you
enjoy, even though you are technically prostituting yourself, whatever that is
supposed to mean, rather than spend eight hours a day working in something you
don´t really enjoy, while spending your free time trying to be pure in what you
like doing, while shooting for the moon. Like leap frogging from ground zero to
the moon, and being uncompromising in the middle, and end up working in some
other area just to pay the rent. This is a mistake I feel my photographer friend
made. And now that he finally is doing this wedding gig shit, he certainly does
not look like he is suffering in creative prostitution. Anyway, I´ll shutup now.
latero
------- Forwarded message follows -------
Sender Allowed
It was interesting to read your concerns about David and his mother Ilona.
Also as you remember how your Mom was treating you (your emotional needs) when
you were growing up. Now you can see how big role plays Mom in the family. Of
course Father is the important figure in the family but Mother is the one who
tends after emotional well being of small child and play a big role in forming a
good traits and character of a person. I feel that Mother plays a bigger role in
a child than father. Sometimes mothers can overdo it or under do it. We all seen
problem I think in Elvis Presley for example (the only child who was so pampered
by his Mother while he had his own father living with him), Elvis slept by side
with his Mother for a long time). He had really strong attachment to his mother.
It's not normal. Mothers can do a lot of damage to their children with how much
they love them or how little they give love to them; However there must be a
good balance. I always felt that you and Marketa did not get enough love from
your Mom. And if there was some, it was in very strange form. Have you ever
heard of "narcist, being narcistic"? These people are the one who love only
themselves and using their own children for their glorification. All must be
done in own way, not taking consideration of children's needs. In case of your
Mom, it had to be done in accordance to her beliefs/desires. She was nor
realistic at all, living in a constant fairy tale dreams. Today I know it had to
be spiritual. She usually had friends close like her but usually weak people
with low esteem. To those she could "minister". I don't think she could have
serous discussion with you while you were growing up. You as children had to
constantly fight for your own identity I think. You, at least, was strong enough
that you didn't accept all that what was imposed on you, but Marketa being
younger, because of it had very confused and foggy outlook on life. I am sure
she was also brainwashed against me/us. Your Mom made your life much more
difficult with her approach. I hope that after all those experiences she is
better Mom to you and Marketa. Re. David, he missed only one lesson so far,
because of stomach flu. He came just before Easter, when I had my Mom and cousin
here with her baby. So I took him to Jens' room for a lesson so we will not be
disturbed. I gave him something to eat at kitchen and my Mother marveled at him,
telling him how good he looks, how beautiful big eyes he has and even a dimple
at his cheek. He really liked that :). I also mention that he is also very smart
after his father! At the end pf lesson, I asked him which English lesson is
better, mine or at school, he said mine; but of course this is irrelevant! We
will see what he learns at the end. I was planning to tell him something about
Jesus during that time, but did not feel it was appropriate because we weren't
alone completely, but I might do it today after the Easter, asking him how he
celebrated it and what's Easter really means.
